Don't Get a Capital One Credit Card!

OK, Will here. Seriously. Don't get one. My biggest problem with them lies in this ad:





First of all, armadillo? That's the best animal they could come up with? I could come up with an animal that's like a million times more frightening than that. Like everytime I see a bee, I get goosebumps. It stems from when I was little and I got stung in my ear. THAT WAS SCARY. I seriously cried from that, and I think threw up a little too. It totally ruined my day, which is a shame, because I had just got home from my freshman year at Brown.

I was going to get my bachelor's in English lit, but left to pursue my unfortunately unsuccessful goal of having super powers.

Secondly, what's with the wife and chips and dip? I'm all in favor of chips and dip, but if you want to talk about something that's awkward, it's holding someone's food for them while they eat, which is obviously what the lady is expecting to do. Put it down. Also, why is she preparing food? Shouldn't the butler do that? Isn't cooking a butler thing to do? Why are they paying him? If it's just to help Armadillo Man, can't he just wear regular clothes? I mean, I know British people like to play dress up, but if he's going to be in a cave, he should have clothes better suited for it, like maybe something from the LL Bean catalog.

LL Bean is only second to Eddie Bauer and Filenes and Sierra Trading Post for cool clothing.

Secondly, what the hell is that butler doing? He's a terrible butler! When Armadillo Man's wife is holding the tray of guacamole and chips, he helps himself while his boss is in a frightened fetal state. Also, there is literally a bunch of chips in front of him, but he sticks his dirty finger in the dip!!! I'm sure that his hand is dirty, considering they're in a CAVE, so he's tainted the guacamole. I bet that dude is a double dipper too. He has no manners, which is something a butler needs.The standard for which all other butlers must try to live up to.

Ok, that's all.