Manager Idols

So I have been doing reserch on managers so i can further my managerial knowledge and expertise.

So the first person I've been trying to model myself after is Murray who is the manager of flight of the concords and he deals with a couple of dudes, one easy going, cool, and easy to get along with (will) and the other who needs more attention, perks, encouragement and time to get ready (jeff). He also had good ideas to get the band going like cool music videos featuring robots and sweet musical sounds of the future. 

Next is E from entourage, now mainly i like the way he dresses and the girls he hangs out with, so thats mainly for me. really nothing to do with field of flowers. 

the last but certainly not least is Joe Torre, now yes he may be extremely old but he can manage the S out of any situation there is. and yeah you might be thinkin thats baseball what does that have to do with such musical blessing like field of flowers? well other then people who watch them and hot dogs and beer being served at both venues i can't really think of anything, maybe we could make a trade for a manny ramierez type character who could be like a roadie, a really kick ass roadie with dreads. 

Don't Get a Capital One Credit Card!

OK, Will here. Seriously. Don't get one. My biggest problem with them lies in this ad:





First of all, armadillo? That's the best animal they could come up with? I could come up with an animal that's like a million times more frightening than that. Like everytime I see a bee, I get goosebumps. It stems from when I was little and I got stung in my ear. THAT WAS SCARY. I seriously cried from that, and I think threw up a little too. It totally ruined my day, which is a shame, because I had just got home from my freshman year at Brown.

I was going to get my bachelor's in English lit, but left to pursue my unfortunately unsuccessful goal of having super powers.

Secondly, what's with the wife and chips and dip? I'm all in favor of chips and dip, but if you want to talk about something that's awkward, it's holding someone's food for them while they eat, which is obviously what the lady is expecting to do. Put it down. Also, why is she preparing food? Shouldn't the butler do that? Isn't cooking a butler thing to do? Why are they paying him? If it's just to help Armadillo Man, can't he just wear regular clothes? I mean, I know British people like to play dress up, but if he's going to be in a cave, he should have clothes better suited for it, like maybe something from the LL Bean catalog.

LL Bean is only second to Eddie Bauer and Filenes and Sierra Trading Post for cool clothing.

Secondly, what the hell is that butler doing? He's a terrible butler! When Armadillo Man's wife is holding the tray of guacamole and chips, he helps himself while his boss is in a frightened fetal state. Also, there is literally a bunch of chips in front of him, but he sticks his dirty finger in the dip!!! I'm sure that his hand is dirty, considering they're in a CAVE, so he's tainted the guacamole. I bet that dude is a double dipper too. He has no manners, which is something a butler needs.The standard for which all other butlers must try to live up to.

Ok, that's all.

I am OUTRAGED!!!

well well well.... Look at all the personal attacks aimed at me going on in the Field of Flowers community. I would have expected this from a hip hop group, but not from a ... well, I'm not exactly sure what it is A Field of Flowers is, but the point is that they don't do hip hop.

Actually, the point is all the treachery! Imagine my shock as my personal assistant read aloud to me the most current postings on this blog. After I innocently posted my current-event article, I am blindsided by attacks from all sides. First Will comes at me with hurtful expressions like "the stupid manager that Jeff hired" and "Alan is a dick". Then his henchman Josh starts babbling in what I can only assume is some sort of hybridization of English, Spanish, and retardation. And then, the pièce de résistance is that Jeff is nowhere to be found. I would have expected him to come to my defense, but instead ... nothing.

I don't know what to say. It usually takes much longer for the bands I represent to gang up and attack me for no apparent reason. I'll say this for A Field of Flowers, they sure know how to make a guy feel un-welcome. As a punishment, I will be discontinuing my current-event series on this blog. No amount of crying or begging will make me change my mind, so don't even bother. And you can kiss goodbye the loyal fanbase that my current-event series brought with it, I'm sure they won't stick around to read about bad movies and cheese.

-AW

Bangkok Dangerous!

Ok, Will here. So in preparation for the big Bangkok Dangerous premiere next month, I've been keeping up with advanced reviews. I'm happy to see that it's already made a big splash with our sister blog, La Off-Off Critica.




This is from their critic, MalaBesta (link):

Los Pang utilizan los mismos trucos que en sus películas de terror; mientras que ya en éstas resultan molestos, en Bangkok dangerous no hay por donde cogerlos.

Now, I don't speak Spanish, but I can only assume that that was a good review because the trailer looks so awesome.

The trailer:



Go reserve your tickets already!

Important Stuff

Ok, Will here. People have been telling me now that I'm a famous musician and celebrity that it's time I use my high profile status to hilight important causes. So I've been looking around trying to figure out what I can talk about that hasn't been already discussed to death. Anyway, with that in mind, here is what I'm thinking about right now: the cheeses that I think taste better when melted.


1. Cheddar


Now, there is something nice about it being cold, but man pop a few dozen slices of this on your fritos, and that's a crazy good nacho platter you have.


2. Provolone

I think this cheese tastes gross cold, but good warm. What's up with that? From the research I've done independently, it involves enzymes, neutrons, and microwaves.


3. Swiss

I went on this field trip back in 11th grade to a dairy farm, and they had samples of swiss, I took a big bite and I almost vommed all over everyone. But then I had it melted on tuna, and I almost lost my shit it was so good.


Alright, that's all I got. I promise to keep talking about stuff that the average American should know about. Yes we can.

I'll take the high rode!!!!!

In response to TJ Maxx bashing, i have no response. I will simply let the prestigious reputation of TJ Maxx speak for itself. ( I had to look up prestigious and repuation, books are good, i'm learning) 

You can say whatever you want Arny Willums, i'm not gonna stoop to your level. Get a fact checker cause i still work at TJ Maxx.

So this week, Will came in when i was working,  I hooked him up with my discount as usual. (15%) And that counts on stuff thats already on sale so I hook him up like any good manger would. I have let Jeff know anytime he wants but he has yet to stop by at least while i'm working, i gave his description though to my fellow workers and gave them pacific directions if he comes in to notify me so i could swing down and give him my discount. I mean I guess i could tell them to give him the discount but they need my manager card and i don't really feel like leaving it to them and then getting it back the next day or whatever. It could get lost and stolen and then god forbid it gets in the wrong hands, anybody could have a TJ Maxx discount. But anyways Jeff you have an open invitation which leads me to my mix this week for TJ Maxx. Now keep in mind this is just music that i have found people shop better to. I've done studies for hours and had numerous complimints on my musical choices. 

1) Santana- Open Invitation

2) Bob Segar- Night Moves

3) Go West- King of Wishful thinking

4) Tom Petty-Wildflowers ( Or maybe wild Field of Flowers) heeeeehhh

5) Spin Doctors-Two Princes

6) Saliva-Click Click Boom

7) Jane's Addiction-Been Caught Stealing (AND YOU WILL BE IF YOU TRY STEALING FROM THE MAXX) 

8) Rush-Closer to the Heart ( One thing I agree with Arny about is if FOF was to be as big as Rush, they should cover this song) 

I will close for now, FOF 2 the MAXXXXXXXXX

Josh

TJ to the Maxx

Ok, Will here. I just saw that the stupid manager that Jeff hired, Alan, is putting up a smear campaign against my boy Josh's TJ Maxx store. I just want to say tha Alan is a dick and nobody cares about anything he ever says.

One thing that's important for new bands is creating BUZZ. And guess what...TJ Maxx knows how to create buzz. Or is the entire town of Atascocita, Texas, lying??!!

From the Tribune:

The new T.J. Maxx and HomeGoods combo store, scheduled to open Aug. 3 in Atascocita Commons, is creating a buzz among area residents.

“I love T.J. Maxx,” said Atascocita resident Teresa Saunders. “I’ve never been in their Home Goods Store, but if it’s anything like T.J. Maxx, I know I’ll be hooked.

So there you go, Williams. Maybe if you could create buzz as good as TJ Maxx can create buzz, Oingo Boingo, your stupid band, would have had more buzz created for them as opposed to the complete lack of created buzz they have now, which little to none buzz.

As for Atascocita resident Teresa Saunders, you should know this, if A Field of Flowers was a retail shop, we'd be TJ Maxx. Like them, we are versatile, affordable, and have a large collection of swimwear for everybody in the family.

Current Events

Hello all!

I couldn't decide which of the myriad of accomplishments in my career I should devote my first blog posting to, so I decided to talk about current events.

This is an oldie but a goodie. It seems that in March of 07, TJ Maxx had a security crisis in which all of its customers' personal information was accessed by a hacker.

I for one am disgusted by the lack of quality management at these stores. I mean, what type of retards do they have working for them?? I wouldn't know, I've always lived in affluent neighborhoods so I've never been within 100 feet of a TJ Maxx, but I imagine that the inside of one looks a lot like those commercials where they want you to adopt a homeless kid in a third-world nation.

The point I'm trying to make is that nobody- store nor band- should allow themselves to be managed by this type of incompetence. I, on the other hand, have had a very successful career in management - perhaps you've heard of a little band called The Rolling Stones? Well, a band I represented actually got to open for them (technically it was a different night and venue, but it was the same city and a lot of the same people were in the audience).

Warmest Regards!

P.S. It just occurred to me that Field of Flowers' other manager, Josh, used to work at TJ Maxx as a manager. Now if that isn't a coincidence I don't know what is. I hope that this post in no way implies that I think Field of Flowers should drop him and sign exclusively with me. But maybe they should. One never knows.

Eating Stuff

Will here. Okay, so I've been getting all the questions all the time now, asking me what I am going to eat in the next video. I'd just like to point out that A Field of Flowers is not some carnival act, okay? We're serious musicians, we do music stuff, not food things. If you want to see people eat weird and disgusting things at a fast pace, go to a Sizzler.

(Jeff- I saw that you said that we were being sponsored by Sizzler, and how I should give them a shout out in my next blog post, so there you go!!1)

And now a list of my favorite movies that I've seen so far this summer:

1. Third Mummy Movie (They got rid of that deadweight Rachel Weisz, and gave more of a role to my boy Brendan Frasier! That dude is awesome, George of the Jungle, Bedazzled, School Ties, everything he touches is comedy gold!)
2. Space Chimps (Monkeys in outer space? Okay!)
3. Mamma Mia (This is probably Jeff's favorite movie)
4. Swing Vote
5. Fly Me To The Moon 3D (Somebody must have been answering my prayers because this summer gave me TWO movies about animals in space)
6. The Hapening (Let's just say this movie was hapening! LOL)

Welcome to the blog!

Ok, hey guys, Will here. I'm totally excited about our new blog here. I feel like that I almost never get an opportunity to express myself, so I'm pumped to be able to shoot the shit. I thought I'd start off the blog with a list of ways to impress ladies.

1. Be in a band.
2. Wear sunglasses.
3. Have a beautiful high singing voice.
4. Have fresh rapping rhymes that would make even Jay-Z get dizzy.
5. Be better than Jeff at EVERYTHING.

Ok, so, with that knowledge, go forth into the world! See you around!